I have this thing on Twitter that I call Rant of the Day. It’s just a blurb about who or what is pissing me off at the moment. Unluckily Twitter is limited to such a small blurb that I really don’t get to properly vent on some subjects, so I thought I would put them on the blog where I could go into more detail about my idiot encounters. Lucky you.
1. People who tailgait me in the snow: Here’s a clue asshole, there is snow on the road, not a dusting, but full fledged mounds of slush and ice, thus I will be driving the speed limit like a normal person with two brain cells to rub together. Actually, I will probably even be exceeding the posted limit, just not to the extent that I would in normal weather conditions. And, by the way, when you run me down in your SUV that doesn’t get any better traction than my Mustang, while talking on your phone or texting your mistress, the only thing that will make me feel better will be a brand new Porsche to replace my devasted Mustang. It may even make me not want to sue you. Maybe.
2. Professional people who can’t return an email: Here is how it works. I send you an email (because you state that you are able to address emails so much faster and easier that a phone call), then you read it and type a reply and hit send. It’s really simple. I understand that the information that I ask for may not be immediately available and I am ok with that. Just reply, say the next day, and let me know that you did indeed receive my message and that you are working on it. When you ignore my email that requires a response I become concerned. Did it get to its intended destination? Is it caught up in a spam filter like a dolphin in a tuna net? Have you lost the ability to lie and pretend to give a shit about your job and its duties? Are you laying undiscovered, dead in your office being devoured by wolves? Continue to ignore me and I will have to pick up the phone and call. By then I may have lost my ability to give a shit about you and your job and I will just ask for your boss.
3 Procreation is NOT a talent: I really don’t care for reality TV in most forms. I will watch Hoarders just because it’s makes me feel so much better about my sometimes lax housekeeping skills, but otherwise reality shows are kind of annoying. The shows I despise the most right now (besides The Bachelor) are any that have families with a million children. When did getting fertility treatments become a marketable talent? Why are foolish, selfish people who probably shouldn’t have been allowed to have one child, let alone a dozen or more, getting TV shows? Is it like me watching Hoarders, people feel so much better about their parenting skills and prudent use of birth control watching these fame seeking morons? A special message to the reality family who just topped 19 with a premature baby that weighed less than 2lbs at birth; you need to stop, your body is telling you that you are done. For once in your lives, think about your children and not yourselves. Now I am going to watch Hoarders clean a lady’s house that has 4 tons of garbage and 3 dead cats in her living room. I feel really good about myself now. My cat is alive and my living room has tops, only a ½ ton of garbage.
4. People who can’t hold a door: This was more of a holiday season rant, but it still holds true any time of year. Why does it not occur to some people to hold the door for people coming right behind them? You see me coming right behind you (only because you were walking so fucking slow and I couldn’t get around you, where I would have held the door for you) loaded down with several bags and you just push through that door and then just let it slam behind you, right in my face. WTF? I have seen people do this to women with strollers, people in wheelchairs, and elderly people that look so frail that a gust of wind would fracture a hip. And none of these offenders have been young people either, actually I see more teenagers with better manners than many middle aged adults. Do we forget our manners as we grow older? Do some people get such a feeling of self importance that no one else matters outside of their little bubble? Always remember that manners matter. Just keep in mind that the young cashier at the local deli that you bitched out for having the nerve to interrupt you to take your order, at the counter with a line forming behind you, while you are on a very important cell call, may be the same person that, years later, will smile in recognition across the table as she is introduced as the head counsel for the federal government in that nasty little case of securities fraud against you.
Thus concludes my lunatic ravings for today.
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/lwcollection where I rant and promote my Vintage Jewelry shop on Etsy.com. LisaWitmerCollection.etsy.com